Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The King Trump - by Michael Novakhov

Image result for King Trump

Our most dear Senators and Congress-persons! 

We are in the urgent need of a new law: to declare President-elect Trump the King for Life and beyond, with assigning him the title of: 
His Most Royal American Majesty Mr. Trump, the King of America, the Prince of Lightness and the World, The Pussy Grabbing Father of the Nation, the Most Faithful Younger Brother of the Russian Czar, etc., etc. 
His most exalted offspring should be assigned the titles of: 
Their Most Royal American Highnesses, the Grand Dukes of the Real Estate, the Most Faithful Nephews and Nieces of the Russian Czar, the Hopes and the Hopelings of the Nation; we should grant them the top secret clearances with the options to resell whatever they can and want to the highest bidders at any time and for a lifetime, free of taxes and other inconveniences. 

The urgent appropriation of $500 M is needed to finance the purchase of the Royal Crown with gems framed by concrete, for the lack of any other appropriate frames, in the shape of the Trump Tower, and the Golden Royal Scepter, in the shape of the broomstick. This appropriation should be financed by the new taxes on the extra flushes in all of the Nations' public and private toilets. Money has no scent. Even if it does, we do not want to smell it, it is so unpleasant. We should just disregard it, hold our noses, or use the handkerchiefs with the emblazoned on them "KT" ("King Trump") royal monogram - what a nice and timely present from the king! 

"I'd like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?"

The construction of the Great Royal Pyramid should start as soon as possible, providing the benefits of extra public works for his most excited and loyal subjects. 
The personal transcontinental ballistic missile should be provided to His Majesty for his tireless world travels and travails. 

The lese majeste laws should be introduced urgently, with the punishment between 50 and 200 lashes for the attempts to insult the King, including the newspaper editorials and columns, social media posts and all the other similar garbage, and with the capital punishment for the more serious offences. 

The public prayers for His Majesty's health, wealth, and well-being, and also for the development of his additional intellectual capacities should be held no less than three times a day in all public squares, government offices, courthouses, and the places of worship, and also in all the private and public toilets, with the benefit of generating the taxable and multiple extra-flushes. Hopefully, it will flush out in due time. 

Hosanna in excelsis! 
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria, multiplied by the innumerable $100 dollar bills! 

God save the King! 

And zis is my most loyal-royal opinion! 

Michael Novakhov 


Vovchik, solo: 

Everyone! Sing! Sing! Sing! 
Right into Mr. Comey' ears! 
Whisper sweet somethings into them, 
He needs it, to build up his file. 


Sick, sick, sick! 
Sick, sick, sick!
Sick, sick sick! 



Чу - Чу - Чу! Чу - Чу - Чу! 
Ты пляши как я хочу!
Чу - Чу - Чу! Чу - Чу - Чу! 
А то быстро прокачу! 


Милый Трампик, милый друг, 
Становись в мальчиший круг:  
На твоём шутовском фоне 
Я - как роза в том газоне. 

Ай да хо, ай да ха, 
Краше нету петуха! 
Ай да ты, ай да я: 
Ты ж мне друг, а не свинья! 

Жириновский мне не в счёт, 
Нам с тобой лишь весь почёт. 
Нашёл я клоуна другого,
Иностранного, большого

Ай да ты, ай да я! 
Так пляши, любовь моя! 

Буду на дуде играть, 
Чтоб тебе для нас плясать! 
А когда не захочу, 
Тебя я быстро прокачу! 

Ай да ты, ай да я! 
Так пляши, любовь моя!